Bath time baby time.

I love this face...
Hanging out with auntie Teresa.
Sleepy time in the bath. He cried during the hair washing and then slept during the washing. Silly sweet little boy. Katie and Anna helped. I could barely contain my joy when his "belly cord" (as katie calls it) fell off so we could play!
Darren and his two boys. 
Katie is over the moon for Beck. She loves that he will suck on her finger. Silly girl.
Big yawn...I like to kiss him!
What??

First Dr. Appointment

Healthy! 

NOW he's 8# 15 ounces. On his way back up, hooray!

6 ounces in 4 days. Little pigglet.  

Showers on a Sunny Day.

The bestest most yummy cake on the planet...
Times Two!!
Sibling love..
Times Two!
Who Me?
Sleepy baby!!  I cannot believe he slept the entire time.
Opps. Sorry Hads. 
Check out all that food...Yummy. Coca is the best cook EVER!
Herding Cats. That was what it was like to pull of this photo. These kids make me feel so lucky. To have such amazing people to be friends with and celebrate with, to grow up with. I LOVE my friends and ALL of their amazing children. Loud laughing running bell ringing drooling crying children. 
Peas in a Pod.

Oh my goodness I have the most deceptive deceitful friends ever. Coca, Sigley Joy and Teta, such good and skilled liars!!

 I am impressed at the abilities of these folks to create trickery and how they managed to keep it secret! 

Amazing! 

I was so shocked walking through the door. I wish I had known...I was lucky to have showered. How embarrassing would that have been? I thought that we were going to paint pottery or have photo's taken of the kids. I was not expecting to walk into a surprise shower! YOU Girls rock. They even had people park far away! How clever.

I am so thankful for all the wonderful beautiful gifts. Above all I appreciate and am moved by all the love and support my friends and family have given me and too my family. I learn so much from those around, I am so lucky to know and work with some of the most amazing people ever. 

I cannot say enough (not suprising eh?) and Thank You is so inadequate. I had so much fun at the shower! It was a GREAT party!

 

Beckett Maxwell Ju Digby

Sleepy time. Still Didn't have a name.
Anna, Lelan, Beckett and Katie with their nanny. 
My two favorite babies, my baby girl and my baby boy.
I was so excited for them to meet. It is in fact a match made in heaven.
Sleepy boys.
Birth Trauma, for dad. Claw marks. I bit his thumb too. oops. Sorry. 
Grandma Mickey. Over the moon for this one.
Bath time. Christina was THE most patient nurse ever. Thank you.
Kia, Nanny and Beckett.

For those of you who know me it is pretty darn hard to render me speechless. But when I think about Beck and his welcoming into this world I have no words.  

Well two. 

Thank you.

Thank you to my peeps at work who rock.

Thank you to my family and friends.

When I am not so hormonal I'm sure I'll be able to say more without being reduced to tears.

Here are the first of a billion pics to come.

I wish I dreamed of Bananas.

0411. When I was, for a brief period, a checker at a Safeway I dreamed of bananas. The produce code was 0411. There were like 100 million codes to remember and I think it must have been anxiety producing as I remember dreaming of that code and bananas. 

When I worked at MC Donald's I dreamed about the beeping of the fry machine and drive thru windows that wouldn't open and orders over the intercom that sounded like charlie brown adults. 

I often think about becoming a barista at Starbucks. I think I could deal with that. What's the worst thing that can happen? A pissed off under caffeinated self inflated person freaking out about the lack of extra foam. I think I could deal with that. 

Last night I dreamt of dead and dying babies. I must admit I do not feel well rested today. 

I know you can tell me it's part of my job and I should know this. 

I do. Most times it's not too bad. I can find the right category to put the death in. 

It's OK. It's sad but manageable. It does not invade my dreams. 

I have this philosophy about my work. It keeps me sane, patient and I hope most of the time kind. 

I will be as invested in the health and safety of you and your baby as you are. 

You can be crazy, mean, addicted, neurotic and controlling. You can be simple, poor, stupid, alone or the mother of 8. You can have a giant house and a nanny or be a near homeless prostitute. I will give you all the same. 

I will not fight you to allow me to take care of you or your baby. I will simply do my best with what you will allow. 

Sometimes they allow alot. Sometimes moms try so hard and invest to much.

So the down side is I do to. 

I find myself liking my patients and having hope for them. I find optimism and want them to have joy.  Invested doesn't always mean the same thing and it is so different in each person, but you can always find it if it's there. It's like a little reward when nice things happen to people who are invested. So the majority of my work consists of small rewards. Doled out in little bits of joy and happiness mixed in with occasional sadness and disappointments. 

Sometimes though the sadness is so huge. 

The balance is so off. 

The investment is so big. It reduces you to say it's just not fair. 

Last night was just not fair. 

It was not the right outcome for the investment. For that mom's investment.

It is too much and the only way your mind can process it is in your dreams. I wish I still dreamed of bananas. 

The four nicest things my husband said to me today...

You've never been "THAT" big before.

Your Belly Button, or rather the lack of,  looks like a butt hole. Can we paint a cow on you and make your belly button it's butt?

The 16th is fine for the ultrasound, for once you won't be an inconvenience to my schedule.

If you get a c-section you might as well get your tubes tied as your clearly getting too old to do this. (meaning having babies.)

Since baby is breech and we don't want labor just yet I don't have to have sex with him. And if we get a c-section maybe it will be never.

Dancing Queen

I think about the things I want. For me. For my girls. For our future. 

But for right now I think this is enough. Happy can be so simple.

Night Shifts Hottest Nurses, I see a calendar in the future.