One of D's friends showed up uninvited, unannounced to our house tonight. We happened to be coming home, there was a band concert and I wanted to make a nice dinner. The experience was overall quite unpleasant.
Just a short list of the things his drunk friend had to tell me.
That I am a controlling bitch. That everyone, all of Darren's friends, know this. That I don't care about his happiness. That he is a wonderful father and I poison his children against him. That I am stupid and fat. Something like a donut, or donut hole. I'm not sure. That he wants to leave me but I won't let him. That he doesn't leave because he doesn't want to leave his kids. That Darren doesn't love me. That he, being Steve, doesn't cheat on his wife because he loves her, and that D cheats on me because he doesn't love me. That I am a terrible person who is ruining Darren. He also cried because he loves Darren so much. That someone had to stand up to me because he didn't. That someone had to come tell me what a terrible bitch I am. That I changed Darren's number so no one could call him. That I won't let people see him or talk to him. That he's always thought I was a stupid controlling bitch.
At one point I had to tell him to get out of my face, that he stunk, and that he was drunk and disgusting.
I asked him to leave. That he was not welcome.
I cannot believe that he came to our home, where our children are to do this?
What next? What else is going to happen?
Is there NO ending to this?
What have I gotten myself into?
10 comments:
What have you got yourself into? A bad marriage, and from the sounds of it, its only going to get worse. So divorce the man and get on with your life.
I know you probably still love him even though he has done all this to you but he isn't worth your time and eather are his friends.. I would not let them into my house and if they say your a bitch so be it lol.. i would be the biggest bitch in the world to them and go and find someone who makes you happy thats what matters!! And if that person makes you happy im sure he will make your kids happy too!
It's not that easy, Ms. Anonymous. Especially when kids are involved.
I wish you so much peace for your journey, Ms. Digby, because along with alcoholics comes lots of mind numbing, just plain bizarre behavior where they try to convince YOU that you are the enemy and the fucked up on when it is actually them: PROJECTION.
The best thing to do is come up with a plan that will impact the children the least. Once that happens, things will calm down.
Alright Heather, here is the deal.
Actually You Are a Control Freak.
About two weeks ago you just publicly blasted the father of your children, and your husband.. to every friend, co-worker, family member, acquaintance.. pretty much any person that knows you both about all of this? And let me guess.. that herpes test you just took last week? It's negative right? That's what I thought
So where is Darren's public apology? You also just tried to get him fired from his job by texting all of his co-workers about this "herpes and cheating" thing. Do you have any tact?
Through out reading all of your blogs... you are actually rude, self absorbed, and a drama queen. I mean really.. really, who wastes so much time blogging about all of this. You are just trying to make the people that read this feel sorry for you. Do these people actually care? Some maybe. I actually feel sorry for the kids and Darren too. There are two sides to every story. The side that everyone hears is only yours.. A dramatic, exaggerated and not always truthful side. Darren is too big of a man to publicly humiliate you about all of the crazy things you have done.
Do you have respect for anyone but yourself? Do you have respect for your children to tell everyone at their school that Darren is an alcoholic. When you do not know if that is actually true. There is a difference between enjoying a few cold ones and a complete alcoholic that can not control himself.
Heather, you choose the path that your life takes. If you are unhappy, then just change it, and stop asking everyone to feel sorry for you.
WOW That was uncalled for.. If you dont like what she writes dont read it... If she wants to write about her problems thats her right but you dont have to get on here and call her all that and talk shit.. People take things differently so this is how she deals with her issues.. LEAVE HER ALONE!!
Heather, all I can say is you know your family and your husband...your path is your path and you will figure out what is right.
Anonymous..hard to find validity in any of your points when you do not even have the courage to sign your name. Blogs are sites for writing/posting, if you don't like what is be written then STOP reading it...if you have points to make that you feel are valid then atleast have the courage to sign your name!
Digs - you and Darren and ONLY you and Darren will figure this out. The rest of everyone around you two should be here to support and listen..not guide you as to what you need or should do for YOUR life!
Hang in there . . . .Amy
Oh and one more thing to anonymous...even you didn't say your name, you are right..there are two sides to every story. Heather happens to be the other side of the story!! The side you apparently can not seem to think could possibly be true!! In the end, it does not matter what you, me, or anyone else feels or says because this is between Darren and Heather...if she chooses to use her blog to journal (regardless of whether you or I agree with it being okay) that is her choice. If you truly are Darren's friend, then support him, and LISTEN!! Don't judge or criticize because you are not the one in the marriage - nor do you share children with him! There are good and bad sides to EVERYONE and sometimes things get done out or pure hurt or anger and can not be taken back, we have ALL done it.
Amy
If you love something let it go. If it is meant to be it will come back to you. If you hold a butterfly you destroy it, if you let it go it will soar and discover it's true nature. If it chooses to come back and spend time in your garden great, if it flies to the neighbor be happy for the joy it brings. Pam
Anonymous does listen to Darren and, being human, responded from the heart to defend him. If you have met him you would have difficulty recognizing the person described in this blog. Unfortunately, most friends of Darren have a fear of Heather and that is why they MAY (don't know if he did or not) have to have a beer to qualm fears, or hide their identity. Also, of course we all do things we regret, but the majority do not act in the way that was displayed recently publicly humiliating someone or throwing them out on a regular basis or calling their character into question with rude words in front of their friends. Darren and the other person named deny the accusations - that is their side. When we listen to Darren he also denies alcholism and has not displayed behavior to indicate otherwise. Friend of Darren
Friend of Darren - I have met Darren many times. I am not saying his is not a great guy or father! I would not deny him of that! I am also not saying he is an Alcoholic. However, if her were, I would not expect him to be able to acknowledge or admit that. When you are one, that is not something you are able to do until you realize it on your own. Also, behaviors are easily hidden unless you are with them and live with them - this is something I have lived through. I am not accusing him of being one, I am just saying as his friend really pay attention..it is easy to protect, out of the goodness of your heart but in the meantime blinders can be put on to this.
I am also not saying Heather has acted appropriately throughout this. I just know that taking sides can be damaging and hurtful, esp. if the two of them find a way to get through this.
Amy
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