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Saturday, July 23

Family Belongings

Spent the night looking at houses in Langley Canada. And the immigration process. And jobs.

We went to Jeff and Queenie's wedding and had the most wonderful time. It was long and loud and in a language I don't really understand. There were people smiling at us the whole day, gently nodding their heads yes whenever we spoke. It all seemed so positive.
It even included a Chinese grandma speaking harshly, expectation and shame. The dinner was filled with lots or food that I did not recognize or want to eat but it was still so familiar.
I spent a good part of the day wondering what the feeling in my heart was.
It was big and warm and it made me smile.
It was quiet and simple and safe.
It was old and full of childhood memories that are so very dear and sweet and fun. It was family history and acceptance and joy.
It was time and love and belonging.

It's the kind of belonging that only happens...sometimes. And under the right circumstances. For some wonderful reason the magic combination exists in this nothing town of Langley. It's an OLD old thing that is transported from a time and culture that I have known but never knew. I know it's always existed there for me but it must just be the time in my life that I am able to feel it and appreciate it.

I've had for a long time an idea of family. An expectation of family that has just never been. Being in a house full of cousins, uncles and aunts who have the same idea of family was so much fun. To know, no matter what I did, what messy noisy chaos the kids whipped up or how poorly behaved anyone was, they were loved.
Equally.
It was cool to watch how that standard was cultivated and monitored. How it was ingrained and managed. I'd like to be closer to it. To learn to do it. To be a part of it.
To be with my family.

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