Waiting...

And waiting and waiting and waiting. I feel like i've been waiting and waiting.

What am I waiting for?

Nice. I feel like I'm waiting for nice.
Smiling. I miss having the person in my life smile when they see me. That little twinkle, the twinge in the heart.

Adoration. Someone to buy me shiny pretty diamonds or at least want to.
A little tiny bit of appreciation.
Gratitude. Gratitude and appreciation bind, it's the cement.
Comfort and security and faithfulness.
For things to not be so hard!

It sounds so sad and pathetic. This unhappiness, this waiting.

I stopped wearing my wedding ring a while back. It seemed so fake to me.

I was soo excited to get married. And so pie eyed and optimistic. I so remember sitting at marriage counseling thinking in an annoyed fashion...none of this applies. I love him so much none of this will ever happen. I will love him like this forever. EVER.

I was wrong.

I had no idea the things that would happen between here and there.
I had no idea of how much I'd grow and change.
I had no idea of how far a person can be pushed.
I had no idea of how long i'd wait.